Tuesday, January 27, 2015

for Jason

There will be a memorial service/celebration of Jason's life some time this summer... 
when we can all gather and make merry with the full exuberance that Jason would have expected.

In the mean time, in lieu of flowers we would rather direct all gifts to the

Jason Hightower Memorial Fund
Meeker Education Foundation
PO Box 255
Meeker, CO 81641

or with PayPal at:
http://meekereducationfoundation.org/make-a-donation/


Thank you for all the kind and uplifting comments, emails, texts, notes, cards, thoughts and prayers.
It continues to sustain and amaze us all.

Monday, January 26, 2015

peace

Jason Edward Hightower
8/10/70 - 1/25/15

My love, my heart and soul, my partner and my best friend...
Thank you for a wonderful journey.
photo taken March 24th, 2014 in Moab, UT

Monday, January 12, 2015

fickle fortune

Since Thanksgiving, Jason's decline has been definite.
He is fully bed bound now, as all his physical strength is depleted. The tumor(s) affect his neurological functions so that his equilibrium is totally off and movement makes him nauseated. His speech is sometimes garbled or slurred, and he often says very strange, random things. He is in and out of sleep all day and does not communicate much anymore. He has not eaten in weeks.

However, there are still glimpses of Jason peeking through a cancer addled body - the squeeze of his hand, a grin, even a funny or relevant comment. I live for those glimpses, knowing that he is not gone.

So while there is great sadness in helplessly watching his strength and sparkle fade away... I am heeding Jason's last great lesson to me: choose to be happy

And this is what I find:

We are the lucky ones.

While that may sound strange considering I am losing my love to brain cancer... I beg you to consider what good fortune we have had.

We are lucky to have had time.
I think about all that we have done since last March - we have traveled and laughed and celebrated and reconnected - and I am grateful that Jason did not die suddenly, or unexpectedly.

We are lucky that he did not choose to leave us.
 I'm sure it must be emotionally devastating for people to lose a spouse because they choose to leave - and it saddens me to know that it happens more often than cancer. When Jason dies, we will all know that he loved us, always.

We are lucky to have family.
We could not have waded through the emotions and logistics of surgery, treatment and care without the help and support of our family - immediate and extended. I am eternally grateful for them being here physically or emotionally to see us through this journey.

We are lucky to have friends.
Many of our friends are like family - and I am equally grateful for their support. They have kept our house full of joy and laughter and stories, and they have kept our children full of love and reassurance.

We are lucky to have community.
From Hospice, to Home Health - it is not about the services it is about the people that provide them. Everyone we know (and many we don't!) are so eager to help and support our family it has been uplifting and encouraging.

and most of all... I believe that Hamp & Sam are lucky in that:
  • they will grow up having seen a glimpse of what it means to deeply and selflessly love another
  • they have had invaluable time spent with family - especially grandparents
  • they will grow up knowing that life is precious
  • they will have a personal understanding of dedication, commitment, and family
  • they will inherit their father's mantra that life is good and we must choose an attitude of joy and gratitude


So here's to Good Fortune - may it find it's way to your hearts and homes in 2015.